The Snitch and the Seeker
by Thebet
Summary: Crack!Pairing. The Snitch would never be able to forget Harry, flesh memories after all. Yet there is something even more magical at work that has the snitch under a curse, will Harry be able to save him? Harry/Snitch. Yes, you heard that right.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.**

**Warnings: This is a very strongly rate M crack pairing fic. It is also m/m so if that is not your cup of tea, the back button is your new best friend.**

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"Harry Potter catches the snitch! Gryffindor wins!" The voice of Lee Jordan rang out over the cries of the other Hogwarts students.

He always catches me I thought lazily as I was thrust up into the air for all to see. His touch already being burnt into my memory. I would never forget, never respond to another touch quite like his. The snitches always played hard to get, he liked the chase, he got off on it. The euphoria from catching us wouldn't cease for a week. The pats on the back, the congratulations. I would be held in his pocket until the next game, then I'd be discarded and thrown away like yesterday's Haggis. I meant nothing but victory to Harry Potter, he never truly cared about me. After all, I was a bloody inanimate object. He would never see me for the magic I had inside. He would caress me and love me until the euphoria went down. Then the next game would occur and I would be replaced and loved no longer.

"Wicked game, Harry!" George called as he slammed a hand on Harry's back-apparently that was the closest a man could get to hugging someone before it got weird.

"You too, George! Great job during the final quarter!"

"Hurry up to the common room, Fred and I nicked some food from Hogsmeade."

"I'm exhausted, I think I'll just head in for the night."

"Suit yourself Mate!" I hear the beater reply before I'm whisked away.

Would Harry ever find out? Snitches are capable of love, we were human once, all those tales of Snitch Smiths were nothing but lies. We were cursed...cursed for loving, friction, hating, killing, and in my case, coveting a wizard's daughter. We could be freed, but no one would do THAT with an object. Harry walked into the dormitory which was empty, and would be for sometime. I felt a slight rustle as he bent down to gather up his clothes before heading to the showers. He started up the downpour of water and emptied his pockets, unceremoniously dumping me on the floor along with his wand-how the thing wasn't broken, I'd never know. He stripped down and walked under the steady stream of water.

"You forgot your towel, Love" I said, yes we can talk. We just choose not too, I mean, everyone would think you were crazy if you said a snitch talked to you. I heard a shout from behind the shower curtain.

()()()()()()POV CHANGE()()()()()()

"Hello?" Harry said poking his head out from behind the curtain.

"Towel, you might want one, unless you want to come out of the shower and drip water everywhere."

"Where is that coming from!" Harry exclaimed stepping out of the shower.

"Down here, love"

"Are you invisible?"

"I'm the snitch, you are a sharp one, aren't you?"

"How are you talking!" Harry exclaimed staring down at me.

"It's a very long story with that involves me, a wizards daughter, threats to my magic wand, and the wizard performing some magic of his own."

"What?" the poor boy seemed confused.

"I could be freed, you know?" Harry knelt down and picked me up to scrutinise my shiny exterior.

"How is that?" Harry asked.

"Oh, you're interested?"

"Well, you're human, right"

"I could be."

What do you mean" Did this boy understand nothing?

"I need a certain something on me to be transformed back." Here it was. The big catch. "Oh and I must warn you, I was a registered sex offender forty decades ago."

"Erm, okay, how can I help."

"Are you desperate for action or just have a hero complex and a 'saving people' thing?"

"I am not desperate."

"Honey, you want to screw a snitch, if that's not desperate virgin, I don't know what it."

"What first?" Harry asked looking down as a blush coloured his cheeks.

"Well first you should really ask me out to coffee or something, but I supposed we can save that for when I'm human. Then I hear that there is this three date rule...but again, human."

"So should we just go to, erm-er-my bed?"

"Depends, do you want to have your first time with a snitch on the bathroom floor, or a cosy bed? I'm not picky." Harry slowly picked up the snitch and brought him over to the bed closest to the window. Harry situated himself over the comforter and then pulled out his wand-not that one you perverts-and silently casted a spell to glue the hangings shut and make sure no sound escaped.

"Now what?" The snitch had to try hard not to scoff.

"Take your pants off...lover boy" Harry began to look distinctly uncomfortable as he pushed his snitch patterned knickers off, fitting. "To change me back, you have to cum on me." There blunt and to the point.

"Erm-should I just-"

"Just relax, I can tell you're happy to see me. I have some magic of my own I can work."

Soon an invisible force began to tug on Harry causing the boy to let out a loud groan and screw his eyes up as the snitch worked his magic. The force tugged up and down on Harry's throbbing member. Squeezing with the invisible force swirling itself on the head of Harry's cock.

"Oh god..."

"The name's Hans." The snitch said helpfully as he continued his ministrations on Harry's stiff penis.

"Merlin...Hans!" Harry groaned every louder thrusting up to meet the invisible force. The snitch could tell Harry was close, so close to being human again. Just a little more. Then Hans did something magical and Harry thrust up sharply and came all over Hans golden metallic body.

A faint buzzing filled the room and the snitch rose into the air. The bed was filled with a bright red light and Hans began to change. A human and very male form was being created out of seemingly nowhere. Tousled brown hair burst out of the mans head and muscles crawled underneath his skin forming hard abs. Harry watched in amazement as the man was gently set down onto the bed and opened his eyes revealing a dazzling pair of sapphire gems and a mouth opening into a dazzling smile.

"Hey, love." The newly human Hans gave a wink causing Harry to blush. Hans looked to be about twenty give or take a couple years.

" Hi" Harry told Hans sheepishly as he looked up into the other man's eyes.

"No need to be an afraid little virgin, Harry" Hans smiled down at Harry.

"Well I am, aren't I?" Harry gave a nervous laugh cutting off abruptly when Hans smashed his lips onto Harrys. Harry gave a small moan as he tilted his head up to meet Hans' who then immediately deepened the kiss.

"We can fix that, how many people get to say they lose it to a former snitch?"

"I'm betting n-mmm" Harry cut off with a deep moan as Hans slid his hands down Harry's chest, Quidditch bodies, Hans though with a smirk and he began to suck on Harry's throat feeling the boy twitch and harden once again. Hans felt Harry weave one hand through his hair and the other press into the small of his back to bring the two bodies closer together.

This was...interesting to say the least. Hans could still feel left over metal pieces from being a snitch. Flecks of gold metal were permanently imbedded-not uncomfortably-imbedded into his skin and the intricate design work that could be found on a snitch looked like tattoos on his skin. Hans gently rolled his hips towards Harry eliciting a groan from both wizards. This was it, the magic of flesh memory burning itself into the old Snitches mind. Hans pressed his body against Harry pushing him down on the bed and Hans moved his hand down lower prepping Harry for what was yet to come. He pressed a finger into Harry's hole. Harry's eyes flew open and if Harry was standing up his legs would've surely collapsed from underneath him. Then Hans prodded a bundle of nerves that caused Harry's world to shatter and white to cloud his eyes. Hans added another finger and began scissoring the two to stretch the ring of Harry's muscles.

"Mhmm." Harry squirmed and pressed against Hans hands.

"Almost ready, love" Hans said letting out a moan as Harry latched his mouth to Hans throat.

"I-I'm ready...go!" Harry said panting against the other man. Hans grabbed his own member and lined it up against Harry's entrance and slowly guided it inside Harry who at first let out a whimper of pain that soon turned to pleasure as Hans pushed in further. Hans pumped in and out of Harry speeding up as Harry began to cry faster, faster. Hans gripping Harry's painfully hard cock in his hand running a thumb over the tip...(god I hate myself for writing this.)

"Uuuunnggghhh, right there, harder!" Harry began to press himself harder against Hans' twitching member. "I-I'm gunna"

"Shh..." Hans murmured silencing Harry with a deep kiss. Harry gave a loud roar as he came over Hans' chest and when Hans looked into Harry's eyes he felt an electric current run through him causing Hans to pour himself inside Harry. With a post-coital bliss smile, Hans slowly pulled out causing both men to groan. Harry pressed his lips to Hans' gently and they prepared to face the outside world.

"You know, for a virgin, you're not half bad Lover Boy." Hans informed Harry with a wink as Harry grabbed his wand to awkwardly siphon the evidence away.

"Er-Thanks? For a metallic ball, you're not have bad either." Hans picked up the snitch patterned pants and tossed them at Harry.

"Better put these on, don't think you want to moon your dorm mates." Though that could be interesting. Hans thought as he pulled on the pair of sleep bottoms.

"That was incredible" Harry thought out loud as Hans gave a snicker.

"You know" He began casually "There are a lot of other snitches that could do with freeing."

"Really, when do you reckon we start freeing those?" Harry asked as he removed the charms from the hangings and opened them up and spied what seemed to be the whole of Gryffindor staring at him in horror, shock and confusion. Harry's face turned beet red as he examined Fred and George staring at him in apparent amusement and horror.

"Silencing charms, Harry! The innocent youth of today, though I suppose that doesn't apply to you anymore does it." Fred told him with a slightly nauseous expression. "I don't think all of Hogsmeade heard you."


End file.
